Macho Memorial Day Madness (2013)
Macho Memorial Day Madness 2013 was the third of the Memorial Day Madness series, held on May 27, 2013. The show bridges the events of Diaz's Fuck Fest IX and In Me Arse. Results Per tradition, Memorial Day was held in honor of the fallen men and women of the U.S. armed forces...which was commemorated in SvR06 Land by another Macho Memorial Day Madness. Kicking off the festivities, JBL outlasted 15 other competitors including the resilient Chewbacca to earn a spot in the Million Dollar Championship Ladder match set for later in the show. Layfield danced his way backstage to celebrate with his associate DCR. Many people spend the final Monday of May enjoying a nice, quiet picnic with family. On the other hand, the Justice Bros (comprised of Dynamite Derek, Super Sheik, and The Hurricane) battled WPW members Tajiri, Goldust, and Count Out in a Picnic Tables match. Though it took some doing, Dynamite eventually managed to break Goldust through one of the picnic tables to pick up the victory for his team. The Justice Bros then proceeded to throw bowls of potato salad into the crowd, but realized that this may not have been the best course of action upon knocking out a fan with one of the projectile glass bowls. JBL danced around the parking lot, celebrating his battle royal victory from earlier in the evening. DCR continued to nab a can of beer, but JBL kept snatching the cans from his underage associate's hand while explaining the game plan that would allow the two of them to bring home the Million Dollar title. After devouring a plate full of smoked ribs and a pitcher of oddly flavored lemonade, JBL headed to the ring after scolding DCR for using lemonade mix as opposed to real lemons. Little did JBL know that The Pranksters had mixed fast acting laxative into the pitcher of lemonade. Mark Jindrak put his Million Dollar Championship that he won at The Fest up for grabs against Ultimate Warrior, The Kingpin, and JBL in a Ladder match. While JBL looked to be in a good position to win the contest, he was suddenly stricken with an unsettling feeling in his lower abdomen. It wasn't long before the Longhorn Loudmouth was running to the nearest bathroom. DCR would have likely assisted him in the match if he hadn't had already been securely seated in a toilet stall. With the competition narrowed down, The Kingpin ascended the ladder and retrieved the Million Dollar belt that he lost at last month's Fest. At In Me Arse, the two top competitors in SvR06 will defend their newly won gold. In a pre-title defense exhibition, World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus teamed up with J-Pac to take on DEFAULT, Big Show, and WWE Champion Ricardo Diaz. Despite the teamwork displayed by The Infinity Kid and The Brogue-ski, J-Pac fell at the claws of DEFAULT's new mean streak. In the main event of the evening, Andre the Giant defended the United States Championship against Dusty Rhodes, Winslow J. Wiley, and "Macho Man" Randy Savage in a Steel Cage match. In an odd turn of events, Dusty and Winslow briefly liquefied and passed through the spaces of the cage and onto the floor. On the other hand, Macho Man climbed out of the cage and was crowned the new United States Champion. Winslow and Dusty, despite not being able to explain what had occurred, made claim to being the rightful U.S. champ. Without a doubt, this was the most controversial Macho Memorial Day Madness yet.